One Year

It has been one year since the day Colten was run over. I can still see the scene plain as day in my mind as it plays out in slow motion. I get sick to my stomach when I hear the sound of a helicopter up above and see the same yellow one that transported Colten to the trauma center. I can literally relive the moments in which it occurred. I still have nightmares now and then and I still thank God everyday for allowing our little boy to stay in our lives. April 12, 2007 was THE worst day of my life. One of the images that will forever stay in my mind is when I ran out the door after Colten's friend ran in yelling "Colten got hit by a car!!!" All I could see as I ran out the garage door was the car right in front of my house and could tell that the man was holding him, but I could not see Colten. I thought he was dead. I remember running around the car to get to him and thinking I was going to see that my little boy was gone. I will never forget the feeling of helplessness as I took him from the arms of the man who ran him over and carried him over to the grass with his face bloody and how the hair on the top of his head was gone and there was an indention in his head. He was so calm, yet too calm. I was told later that he was in shock. It was definately a rough couple of days in the hospital and weeks thereafter, but we were so lucky that his major injury was his broken shoulder. Although he did have head trauma, everything checked out okay with that, Thank God!!

Having something like this happen really puts things into perspective. I definatley look at life differently. Look at my kids differently and was forced to look at myself differently. It was an eye opening learning experience for sure. One that I wish never to repeat, but in a sense it put things in our life into perspective. There is nothing more important in life then our children. I would lay down my life for them, but yet in that moment, there was nothing I could do. That was the worst feeling. It is so difficult to see your child in so much pain. But, Colten is a trooper and he came through everything with such strength and courage.

Forgiveness-----As of this day, I cannot say I forgive the person who did this. Although I know it was an "accident", the way things were handled after would make anyone angry. And I still am. I'm still angry!!! For those close to us, you know how and why I feel this way. I'm really not a person to hold a grudge, but this is different. This is my child, my boy, my baby. Someone hurt him.....although not intentional, but not at all remorseful. It breaks my heart.

This changed our family. Our ways of thinking. Our ways of living. Some for the better, I will admit. It made us stronger, made us grateful, made us truthful, made us love unconditionally. I made a deal with God that day. As many of you know, I'm not a religious person by any means, but that frightful day, I spoke with Him. I promised that if He healed Colten, let him stay in our lives that I would be forever grateful and be a changed person. Well, He spoke back. With His healing hands, Colten is here and well and I am a forever changed person. I kept my promise with God.